Bringing you beer review-ies

Bringing you beer review-ies
Bringing you beer review-ies

Native Texan talkin' crap about beer that I drank recently. Bar's set pretty low here. Just be happy there's a bar...somewhere.

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jim_brewie

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Mr. Freeze (roller coaster)

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Her: Please tell me you didn't build this shelf into our dumbbell stand just for use as a beer display. Me: . . . H: [rolls eyes] Seriously?! M: Well...I didn't *not* intend to use it for that. H: Oh, for f- M: But that wasn't the primary goal [directs attention to mound of stuff] H: Hm. Stuff was on the floor, prior. M: Yes. It was. H: Seemed fine there, for the past 7/10 months. M: [closes eyes, deep breath] Woosaaaahhhhh. . . H: Aww, is this conversation not goin' the way you thought? M: Exactly how I thought it would turn out, actually. Kinda like with this Glacial Frost entry in @turningpointbeer's Quencher series. H: Ugh, they're still doing the Gatorade rip-offs? M: And doing them well. Maybe just a lil' more tart than its sports drink ancestor, otherwise dead-on flavorwise. H: That's not a word. M: Apwhuh? H: Flavorwise. It needs a hyphen. M: Okay, pretend there's a hyphen, then. H: ...but you didn't use a hyphen. M: How would you know? We're talking. H: [visible confusion] M: Oh no. Is this one of those times where you look off snarkily in a weird direction...as if to share some inside joke with another person? Her: Um...noooo? [winks through 4th wall] Me: LIAR . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #dfwbeer #texascraftbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #glacierfreeze #quencher #sportsbeer #gatoradebeer #theanswer #beeristheanswer #streetfighter #blanka #sourbeer #turningpointbeer #bedford #bedfordtx

The Litter Box.. Meow

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Her: KITTY Me: Yes. Apparently that's synonymous with Fuzzy, this IPA from @equalpartsbrewing. H: FUZZY KITTY M: Uh...yeah. One that wasn't as fruity as expected. Just creamy, grassy-pine goodness. H: 🎵SOFT KITTY...WARM KI-🎵 M: Please don't. We'll both be singing it for 7/10 days straight again. H: 🎵Little ball of f-🎵 Me: [puts fingers in ears] La la la laaaa love these oatcreams. Her: 🎵HAPPY KIT-Oh God...is that like almond milk? Do I need to worry about top-knots next? Me: Oatcream IPA. Her: My point still stands. You are *not* borrowing my hairties. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #houstonbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #justspeechiecrafts #fuzzy #softkitty #softkittywarmkittylittleballoffur #letterkenny #squirrelydan #thatswhatisappreciatesaboutyou #equalpartsbrewing #sigmabrewingcompany #houston #houstontx #htx

Midgard

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Her: Did...did you drink all of those? Me: ...yes? H: ...today? M: ...no. H: [suspiciously puts down phone] Okay. M: Figured I'd give the fruits of @brutalbeerworks' first barrel program a few months do some can conditioning. Spent the past few weeks knocking them out one at a ti- hang on. What were...you doing? H: Hm? [deletes web browser tab to rehab center] Nothing. M: Fine. Still trying to figure out how to cover all five of these quickly through dialogue. Mayb- wait...where'd she go? H: [long since disappeared] M: Huh. Oh well. Best get on with it: . BERSERKER OG BASE Amazing work for their first BA. Some oak up front, vanilla on the back end, plum throughout. Nutty aftertaste. 8/10 BERSERKER MOCHA Coffee and cream mix with the oak up front, with a little less of the stone fruit flavor throughout. That is, until it warmed up. Mocha flavors faded as the plum woke up. Nutty aftertaste still there. Didn't care for it as much as I did the OG base. 7/10 HONEY CINNAMON PECANS Pecans took up a *lot* of space on the sip at first, most notably covering up the oak. Cinnamon rode alongside the pecans up front. Both mellowed considerably by the bottom of the glass, harkening back to the OG. 7/10 BLUEBERRY MAPLE Thankfully, lot of the same OG flavors here as well. Difference is lots of blueberry up front. Balanced flipped over to maple towards the end. So far, sweetest of the bunch. 7/10 AFFOGATO Coffee, creamer, and slight hit of cinnamon. Weirdly low on carbonation...might've been my fave, if not for that. 7/10 . . #craftbrew #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #drinklocalbeer #beernerd #craftbeergeek #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #berserker #blacksuitspiderman #spiderman #venom #symbiote #sipsynth #synthhop #17percentdrip #theanswer #beeristheanswer #streetfighter #blanka #barrelagedbeer #bourbonbarrelaged #brutalbeerworks #embraceyourchaos #gunnyhole #nrh #northrichlandhillstx

The Birdbath
Probably my last beer trade before the mighty Sun makes landfall here this summer in Texas.
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As y'all saw in last week's post, @dope_cans_man and I cut this one down to the wire, and it wasn't without casualties. I honestly feel like that was a fluke, though – I've had a couple of the IPAs from this box already, and they tasted great...so I'm not convinced the heat was the mortality factor. Starting to think it was a lazy USPS employee putting weight where they shouldn't have.
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. . . perhaps even an errant butt-cheek. 
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Hey, I've been there, USPS guy. I get it. But pleas mind the FRAGILE stickers. Those cost good money.
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#drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #newmexicobeer #exnovobrewing #nmbeer #mexicanbeer #denverbeer #coloradobeer #coloradocraftbeer #greatdividebrewing #georgiabeer #georgiacraftbeer #cherrystbrewing #deschutesbrewery #oregonbeer #oregoncraftbeer #dogfishhead #delawarebeer #michiganbeer #newhollandbrewing

Bringing you beer review-ies

Probably my last beer trade before the mighty Sun makes landfall here this summer in Texas. . As y'all saw in last week's post, @dope_cans_man and I cut this one down to the wire, and it wasn't without casualties. I honestly feel like that was a fluke, though – I've had a couple of the IPAs from this box already, and they tasted great...so I'm not convinced the heat was the mortality factor. Starting to think it was a lazy USPS employee putting weight where they shouldn't have. . . . . perhaps even an errant butt-cheek. . Hey, I've been there, USPS guy. I get it. But pleas mind the FRAGILE stickers. Those cost good money. . . #drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #newmexicobeer #exnovobrewing #nmbeer #mexicanbeer #denverbeer #coloradobeer #coloradocraftbeer #greatdividebrewing #georgiabeer #georgiacraftbeer #cherrystbrewing #deschutesbrewery #oregonbeer #oregoncraftbeer #dogfishhead #delawarebeer #michiganbeer #newhollandbrewing

Tarrant County Courthouse, 100 W Weatherford, Fort Worth, TX 76102

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Her: [frustrated sigh] Canned coffee again? I thought we agreed not to subject our toilets to this trauma anymore. Me: And *I* thought we agreed that was confidential spousal information. H: Pfffft. As if you had any image to tarnish in the first place. M: That is...hurtful. H: But true. M: Still hurtful, nonetheless. Luckily, I have these Legal Grounds to drown my sorrows. H: Wait, are you seriously taking me to court ov- M: it's the name of this coffee lager. H: Oh. Right. We're to the part where you ruin the 'bit' by talking about the beer. M: Lager base keeps things simple and allows the coffee flavors to come through cleanl- wait, whaddya mean? H: 8/10 times, you ruin a perfectly good bit when you start pontificating about the properties of whatever swill you happen to be drinking. M: This is a beer blog. Talking about beer is pretty much the point. H: Yes, but those parts are boooooring. M: So what would you have me do instead? H: I dunno...write better? M: [scrunches face] H: Are you...crying? Did I hurt your feelings? M: NO. I'm just...sad that @legaldraftbeer covered up this blonde lager can...with this Coffee Lager Label. Maybe it *sniff* really wanted to be a Blonde, but all the...*sniff* societal pressure was just *sniff* too much. . . Her: Okay, no. I am not ready for beer-existentialism today. Me: [peeling off label] BE FREE, LITTLE BLONDE LAGER! BE FREEEEEE . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #legalgrounds #coffeelager #keepgrinding #knowyourrights #legaldraftbeer #arlington #arlingtontx #arlingtontexas

Coca-Cola Freestyle

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Me: Okay, let's see if this Texas Sour Colas lives up to the hype. Her: Lemme guess...@martinhousebrewing? M: [snap-finger-guns in agreement] Bingo. H: Well, did properly tickle the nostalgia centers of your brain? M: Honestly...not so much. Not exactly the sour cola flavor I was hoping for, but it's nice, I guess. Honestly kinda has a mead-like honey finish. Took 6/10 seconds for me to actually put my finger on what it was. H: [vacant expression] M: Are you...okay? H: Yeah, just my body's defense mechanism kicking in when you say 'mead.' M: Pretty sure you use it for more than 'mead.' [takes sip] H: Oh wow, you actually pulled down the Coca-cola glass for this one. M: What can I say? I'm dedicated. H: It gets dusty up there in the display room. Sure hope you washed it first. M: . . . Her: Please tell me you washed it. Me: Yes. [wipes away dust-bunny mustache] Washing it is *totally* something I did. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #ntxbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #sourbeer #sourbeer #sourcolas #sourcolagummies #cocacola #alwayscocacola #childhoodnostalgia #nostalgia #martinhouse #martinhousebrewing #fortworthtx

Chihuahua City, Mexico

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Most people I trade with are boggled/frustrated when I send them beer mail the first time: not only is each can/bottle Ziploc'd and bubble-wrapped, they're also all nestled inside a sealed trash bag. It's a lot to unpack. Literally. . But why go through so much trouble? . Well, no matter how much we plan, Mother Nature, Father Time, Uncle Chaos, or Auntie Fate could have other ideas. Obviously, they didn't want me to get this Pata Seca dry stout from @elgardeniabrewery. Alas. . Luckily, @dope_cans_man knows how to pack 'em right. It sucks that we lost a fine soldier, but the trash bag kept the spilled goods contained, which kept USPS from tossing the rest of the soggy package out with the garbage (it's happened to me before). . Moral of today's boring tale – treat your trade partners as you'd treat yourself. Go the extra pint to ensure that, even if accidents do happen, they get the rest of the load. Spilled beer rinses off, but soured experiences linger. . . #mexicanbeer #mexicancraftbeer #hechoenmexico #hechoenméxico #craftbrew #drinkcraft #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #elgardenia #elgardeniacervezafina #pataseca #drystout #chihuahuamx #chihuahuacity #chihuahuabeer

The Field of Plenty

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Me: Ah, diggin' in to more of that beer mom bought us? Also Me: Yep, found this little gem from @foundersbrewing. [holds up can of Mosaic Promise] M: Another Single-hop Mosaic? C'mon man. AM: Wow...hate right out the gate? Not even gonna give me a chance to talk about all the goodness Mom just dropped on us? M: Why? You'll just rattle on for 8/10 minutes about the floral notes at the start, followed closely by a nip of bitter, and then some malt/grassiness before the all-familiar bubblegummy-citrus finish. AM: JUST TRY IT M: [mumbles] ragginfragginnogoodsplitpersonalitydisor- AM: I can *hear* you. Us. Me. Whatever. M: [mumble-sips]…[squints]…[pauses] AM: 😎. . . M: Damn. AM: I KNOW M: Why are they always so good? AM: 'Cuz Mom knows what's best? M: Fair enough. M+AM: [together] Thanks, Mom! Me: Wait...was it really necessary to say 'together' on that last line? Since we're just facets of the same person? Also Me: I dunno, man. These split-personality segments get confusing sometimes. Just go with it, for simplicity. . . #happymothersday #thanksmom #michiganbeer #michigancraftbeer #mibeer #micraftbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #foundersbrewing #rentisdue #rpgglassware #dragonwarrior #smashipa #smash #ipa #goldenpromise #grandrapidsbeer #grandrapidsmi #grandrapidsmichigan

Gotham City in Six Flags Over Texas

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Her: Well, that pattern looks suspiciously familiar. Me: You mean on this peachy-citrus rocket-propelled grenade of a sour IPA? [turns can label to show 'Get Mommy's Bazooka'] H: Oh wow. So @turningpointbeer actually matched up their can label art with the beer name reference. M: They tried, at least. It's close enough, I s'pose. @lupinusartisanales probably insisted on it. H: Too bad you couldn't be bothered to use a glass from the correct show to properly show your support. M: What? This is a Batman reference. This is a Batman glass. H: Yeah, from a future, potentially alternate timeline, 7/10 Batmans-removed. M: Well...I don't have a specific glass for *every* show I reference. H: Sounds like you're not fully committed to this hobby, then. M: [silently squints] H: [sudden clarity] Oh no. M: You do realize that you're giving me permission to buy *more* glassware, right? Her: NO. That's not what I mea- Me: [maniacal laughter, and for some reason back-dropped by menacing lightning again] I DON'T KNOW WHERE THESE IMPROMPTU STORMS COME FROM BUT THEY'RE HIGHLY CONVENIENT FOR ILLUSTRATING MY POI- . . #happymothersday #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #sipsynth #synthhop #batmanbeyond #terrymcginnis #harleyquinn #getmommysbazooka #fruitedsour #souripa #lupinusartisanales #turningpointbeer #bedford #bedfordtx

The Town of Bedrock

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Me: Fruity on the backbone, just barely bitter at all. Good amount of hop burn to remind you it's an IPA, though. Her: [stares at can for 6/10 of a second] That doesn't sound like a cereal beer at all. M: Hm? Oh, no. "Fruity Pellets." Not "Fruity Pabbles." H: "Pebbles". M: I'm a grown-ass man, and I will mis-pronounce breakfast cereals as I see fit to fit into my warped sense of nostalgia, thank you very much. H: [mockingly] Mi'm MyEh MgOwN mYaSs MyEh MyIh MyiLl MyEh-MuNoUnCe MyEhFsT mYeRuL mYaS mYiH mHeE mYiT. . . Me: Woof. I should probably look into a program that does 'alternate caps' for me. Her: Yeah, that one's gonna be a bitch to type out. Sorry. . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #houstonbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #blacksuitspiderman #spiderman #venom #symbiote #symbihop #sipsynth #synthhop #fruitypellets #greatheights #greatheightsbrewing #houston #houstontx

Sheppard AFB

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Me: Huh. Don't think I've ever tasted watermelon in an IPA before, but it's definitely there. Her: I remember a Keystone light...or two...or maybe 6/10...tasing like watermelon. M: [shivers] H: [shivers] M: I thought we agreed to never speak of those dark times. H: Hey, you brought it up. M: Fair point. Luckily, @wfbrewingco's Numb Chuck is far from that bargain swill. Good balance of juiciness and bitterness. H: [vacant stare] M: [waves hands] You...okay? Her: Sorry. Still recovering from those painful memories from 'house parties of yore.' [shivers again] Me: Thankfully, the fact that you just used 'yore' correctly in a sentence means that recovery is well underway. . . #gotexan #craftbrew #drinkcraft #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #ntxbeer #drinklocalbeer #beertography #beernerd #craftbeergeek #drinkcraftnotcrap #craftbeernation #craftbeerculture #craftbeerenthusiast #instabeer #beersnob #wishyouwerebeer #screaminhops #transam #firebird #pontiacfirebird #thedrunkendolphin #numbchuck #wfbrewingco #wichitafallsbrewingco #wichitafalls #wichitafallstx #wichitafallstexas

6151 Richmond Street

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Me: Wow. Little citrus, some bubble gum, and there's like some...spicy sage in this. Her: In your beer? M: Yeah, it's @shannonbrewingcompany's 2nd take on their 'Cool Hop' series. H: [eyes start to twinkle] M: NO. I said 'Cool HOP'. Not 'Cool Whi- H: COOL HWHIP M: You don't even watch Family Guy! Why is this still a thing with you? H: HWITH me? HWHAT ever do you mean? M: [attempts to vacate situation by melting slowly down into chair] Her: HWHERE are you going? HWHY won't you answer my question? Me: [hides under desk] . . #drinktexasbeer #craftbeer #drinklocal #texasbeer #texascraftbeer #dfwbeer #drinklocalbeer #beersofinstagram #beergeek #craftbeernerd #craftnotcrap #craftbeerlife #beerenthusiast #craftbeercommunity #craftbeersnob #instabrew #goldengirlsforever #staygolden #goldengirls #bettywhite #glasstomouth #glasstomouthbeer #coolhop #shannonbrewingco #shannonbrewery #kellertx #kellertexas

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